Refuge in the Storm

 

This verse is comforting to me when I am struggling.  I love to know that God has a hiding place for me.  He will give me refuge in His wings while I'm in the midst of a storm. 

 

Last week was a struggling week for me.  I was in the middle of a storm of worry and busy-ness.  I wasn't sleeping well, and I felt like I could not catch up with everything that I needed to get done. 

 

Enter Psalm 57:1.  God reminded me to slow down, to call on Him for mercy and healing, and to REST in Him during my tough week. 

 

What comfort to know that the Creator of the universe invites me to rest in the shadow of His wings when I am having a tough time.  He holds me close and gives me comfort when I feel like I can't get anything done.  He invites me to rest.

 

Resting... for a mama of a toddler, this is a precious commodity!  Nap time is too short, and my son doesn't always sleep through the night.  Feeling well-rested is something I took for granted for most of my adult life.  Now that I've been without rest, I realize how amazing a full night of solid sleep can be. 

 

When I think about resting in God, I equate peace and comfort with this term.  I'm so thankful that I can have peace and rest and calm even in a busy week with little sleep. 

 

 

Ugly

So, I promised to be real and transparent.  This is one of those real moments. 

If you were spying on me last night, you would have seen an ugly moment.  Not a messy hair moment, but an angry moment.

How I got there is not important, really.  There was no drama, no argument, nothing... Just a situation where I reacted.  I did not get angry outwardly, lash out, or treat anyone poorly.  No, I stuffed the anger inward and let it settle in my mind.  

After fuming for a few moments, I chose to sit outside for a few minutes.  Now, the old me would have stormed outside, stewed about the situation, and laid blame in other people.  In this situation, there is no one to blame.  Like I said, there wasn't a reason for me to get angry other than that's just what I chose.  However, the old me would have blamed someone regardless of that truth.  The old me would have sat outside fuming that my husband hadn't come to see what was wrong with me.  The old me would have plotted ways to pick a fight with someone (probably my husband) just to make myself feel better. 

However, I'm thankful that the old me is gone.  Yes, I was angry.  Yes, I wanted to blame someone.  BUT, I didn't.  I sat down to sit with my anger.  I allowed myself to feel the feelings.  I stayed angry for a few minutes.  I did not look to blame someone, and I calmed down quickly.  

I surrendered my feelings and processed through them.  I acknowledged that I am currently exhausted. I admitted that I needed a few moments alone to recharge and to refresh.  I prayed, confessed my anger, and allowed myself some grace.  Then I let it all go. 

When I was ready, I came back inside, ready to be with my family again.  The old me would have been mad all night, but not the me I am today.  I processed through the ugly moment.  I chose to let it go and enjoy the rest of my night. 

I'm not proud of my ugly moment tonight, but I am committed to remember James 1:19-20.  I am committed to be transparent with those of you who are Spying on Sarah.

What are your ugly moments like?